so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
