Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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