i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize