i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize