The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
please come you make the beer taste better
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
