You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
