Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
