no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
