Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
