I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This baby is an asshole
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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