Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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