Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
