I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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