I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
