We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
