we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
