I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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