I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish you could order shots online.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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