Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
