I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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