So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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