I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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