i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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