Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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