i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
