He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
