The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't trust your balls anymore.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
