WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize