sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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