this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
