New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
