ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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