She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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