im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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