sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
