Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
