I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
