dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
