At least make sure they are 18
Why
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
