I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
