Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i think i just lost a toe
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
