I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
