Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
