then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
