I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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