Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
