How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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