so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
