Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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