New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
