I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
