She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize