Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
