What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
