i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
