chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
