You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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