talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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