girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
