That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
